After the madness of the week that was Ed Sheeran and The Minister for Foreign Affairs, Jack was looking forward to a nice quiet week. Yeah right! We don’t do quiet weeks here at Copper Face Jacks thanks to you, our loyal sesh moths.
The reoccurring theme for Jack this week seemed to be Gold Cards. I wonder why that was? Oh yeah, Ed Sheeran may have to answer for that one. If Ed gets a Gold Card, then naturally enough everyone wants one. So after about, roughly seventeen thousand Gold Card requests this week, Jack narrowed them down and brought only two cases forward to the Gold Card Embassy for review. One, was an old fashioned good will story, between two friends. Jack can’t really expose details on this one, as it’s quite personal. Result: Gold Card Granted.
The other case? Well, while scrolling through his emails, Jack came across this…
Now, Jack thought about granting David’s wish to have his Gold Card reinstated, but that would have been too easy. Our boy Dave caused a bit of a stir online when a video of himself pranking his mate went viral. In the video, David pretended to be ringing from Coppers (cheeky), informing his mate that he had been messing around with a mop whilst in Coppers the night before. The poor fella was morto.
Jack has a wee proposition for you, David. As you can imagine, we see thousands of revellers through our doors every single night, so naturally enough there’s going to be a spill or two on the dancefloor. When it does our floorstaff are on it quicker than Usain Bolt can complete his 100m. As it happens, one of our floorstaff is on holidays this week. Can you see where this is going?
So, here’s the deal, Dave. Cover a shift for us and we’ll get you a shiny replacement Gold Card. This is an official call out. It’s on. The bucket and the mop are waiting for you David. 😉 Result: Gold Card Pending.
If you’ve read this far, your ‘study break’ is well and truly over. Although, speaking of procrastination, here’s a gentle shove in the direction of our main event this weekend. Ah feck it, here’s a full back’s shoulder in that direction.
Just to clarify for all you chancers out there, those aren’t roman numerals, you don’t get eleven free drinks you get one, and free entry to our nightclub to throw some shapes if you’re into that kinda thing. Hope to see you there!
Until next week,
Jack The Lad.
(Send your funnies to firstname.lastname@example.org)